at last

2:32 a.m.  I can breath.

this is the most tranquil feeling.  to be able to BREATH.  i don't even have to remind myself to breath.  it is happening all on its own.  it makes me cry out of happiness to proclaim this.

to know where my heart has been not very long ago, and to see where i am now.  it is remarkable.  what happened hurt me like being stabbed.  it robbed me of so much.

but....ladies and gentleman.....im coming back.  i don't even know where to begin.  probably by saying thanks to all of my good people.  THANK YOU!

i have experienced a darkness that I didn't ever imagine experiencing.  maybe that sounds silly.  but its the truth.  aaaaand......after swinging to the lowest i have been...im on the upswing...and it is SUCH a relief.

my heart is so grateful to be working towards a healthy life again.  I CAN FUCKING BREATH.  the sound that may accompany my feeling about this is probably angelic.  i honestly didn't know if i would breath involuntarily again.  that sounds completely irrational, but i hit some VERY dark lows.  and to see light again...it means so much.

i will say this...i never stopped believing in myself.  but a lot of that is probably because a lot of you kept believing in me too.  thank you.

Cheers to always believing in each other, even when it's crazy,

blaire brittany