...love letter to myself

2:12 a.m.  this song struck at an old wound.  but sometimes youve just gotta deal with shit.  by yourself, in the dark, in your room, in the middle of the night.  i still have shit.  lots of it.  But this song was inspiring.  like a romantic anthem i can sing to my future self.  I think if there is ever a chance of being able to handle myself loving another 'one' again,  I first need to fall back in love with myself.

its like, can i just throw a fucking wrench in the gears that are dulling my soul?  just give the devil the bird, and go on with my hippy-go-happy life.

When i listen to this song, here is the video in my mind:

Me (current):  sad and broken walking through a statue park.  Desperately trying to find myself, and trying not to drown.  Seeing a light glowing.  The light is coming from either my reflection, or from my future self.  its a future me, Presented in full love and full light.  Its refreshing to know it can be that way again.  This song is like a plea and promise that I wont let that future me down.  I have to make it to the light again.  I can't let the light down.  I have to try with every breath and every tear,  to keep my promise.

I won't let you down
no, i won't let you down  

a love letter...

2:04 a.m. Lyrics:---"I Wont Let You Down," Alex Clare....album title: 'the lateness of the hour'

Just another grey autumn day
You're the sunshine trying to break through
No I never imagined that my path would lead to you
A look in your eyes as they met mine
Seem to say we're the same
In so many ways
Though we're worlds apart
I will promise you

I won't let you down
No I won't let you down

There are so many reasons to keep us apart
But it won't stop me losing
My mind or my heart
What would I give
To touch your hand
Oh just feel your skin
I'd breathe you in
Could this ever be
You'll be next to me

No I won't let you down
No I won't let you down

I know myself so well
But I've never been here before
You're just out of my reach
But I will be here
Of that you can be sure
Can be sure

It's another grey autumn day
You're the sunshine trying to break through
I can only imagine that I'm walking with you
I realise if you were mine
We may fall apart
Oh you'd have my heart
There's too many things between you and me

No I won't let you down
No I won't let you down
No I won't I won't let you down
No I won't let you down
No I won't I won't let you down
No I won't I won't let you down
No I won't I won't let you down
No I won't let you down