...

11:09 pm.  another long day.  it wasn't a bad day really, just long.  im tired, i better sleep well again.

i am ready to return home again. tomorrow will be good.

its weird to me that i find this blogging crap so helpful.  maybe its my way of still sharing with him, even though this isn't to/for him.  i guess im just used to sharing my day's adventures with him.  right about now we'd have been chatting about our days and sharing our stories.  one week ago from right now was the last time that we talked as boyfriend/girlfriend.  the end came fast.  it is ALL over now.  i need to just fuckin digest that shit.  but its hard, ok?

i just wonder if he is even sad.  "ARE YOU SAD?" that you will never wake up with me again?  we wont share morning coffee or a late night beer.  there won't be stargazing or camping in your yard.  there wont be any kisses on the forehead or laughs or hugs.  i bet you're sad....well, i FUCKIN hope you're sad.

you really got me good.  i had no idea.  ya jackass!

hey, maybe the 'anger' stage is setting in.  there's something to wake up for.

i think this sleeping pill is kicking in, or maybe that's the wine..either way,

goodnight world.