all right kids

10:40 a.m.  vomit.

i saw him last night.  at the bar.  he left with a girl.  that's SO gross.  i wanted to barf.  but, ya know....it's really driving the reality in.  which is still very painful, but necessary for me to break ground.

i need to stake a few declarations here:

1.  he will NEVER find someone else to love him like i could have.  he is the biggest fool to deny my love.
2.  i am starting to realize (for myself) that i really am much better off without him.  im a builder, he's a destroyer.  he did a pretty good toll on me, but ill have the last say.
3.  he is full of lies.  to himself he lies, and to everyone that tries to love him.  that's bad.
4.  I WILL BE OK.  im getting there.  its hard.  sometimes im crawling, and sometimes walking.  i'll get there.
5.  there seems to be this very disgusting cycle of humans getting broken from other broken humans......hurting broken people going around and breaking people that try to love them. its really gross, and vicious, and i'll have NO PART!  even if i have to be alone forever.  i am not going to take someone else' heart only to break it.  that's not for me. no thanks.  


im proud of myself for not crying last night.  it was hard, but i made it.  i have decided that i just can't give him ONE SINGLE TEAR more.  he is NOT worth it.  he is acting like a jackass, and jackass' don't get tears.

'no fucking shmucks aloud!'

good day people