<screaming>

2:34 a.m.  i wish i could say i was drunk.

just barely buzzed, and fucking pissed.  you sick bastard.

you and your fucking talk about the damn universe.  'getting back what you've put in.'  .....you really want back what you have put out there???  i didn't think so....what in the hell did i do to make you flip like this?

who the hell are you even?  or.....who are you now?  you are smoking again...cool......NOT.  so this is all so damn hard for you...you need a little smokey....you fucking asshole.  boy....i've thought about smoking.  in my conscious and unconscious moments....and i'm not even a smoker.

way to go you jerk.

are you finding all you 'needed to find' by leaving me?  i guess you didn't need alone time.  you just needed time to be a loser or something....getting fresh with yet a different girl in front of me.  ya fuckin jackass!

i accepted EXACTLY who you were.  i wanted you the way i saw you.  i would have given you everything.  but why?  right now, i don't know....you're really making me wonder.

would it make me feel better to kick you in the crotch?  not sure...but it seems like a good idea.

the answer...no, it's not going to make me feel better.  i would feel better if i could believe that you were truly remorseful for braking my heart.  but i can't believe that.  nothing that you have done or said to me allow me to believe that.  you are not remorseful.  in the least.  you are on a path of destruction.

i can understand you were hurting.  but why in the hell did you have to take me down with you?  you cold fucker.

you were lucky to have me.  i thought i was lucky to have had you.  you did NOT realize what you had.  you pisser.

i am trapped in this stupid place.  this is unjust.  don't even pretend you are 'ok' to me.  i know your truth.  you are not ok.  you are in a very bad place buddy.  i just wanted to love you through it.  but this is the destiny that you have CHOSEN.  this is not your fate, but your fucking consequence.  how's that taste you jerk?

may your universe deliver your 'coming reward.'

---truly disgusted---