7:56 p.m.  i think i am finally starting to get the old 'blaire' back.  a different, more rough-around-the-edges blaire, but its better nonetheless.

what a relief to have some solid freakin time where my betrothed friend 'sadness' has had little interference.  I am glad to say it.  that i am feeling a little bit better.  i had a great weekend, with a great friend, and some great buddies.  Thank you, all!  it means a lot to me.

i am not completely restored, but who the hell knows when or if that will happen.  all i can do is one day at a fucking time.  that's it!  If i think about yesterday, ill crumble and barf....if i think about tomorrow, i got nothing.  just today, that's where im at, and it's all you get.

the hole that was left in my heart, when i was broken, gutted, empty and drowning in sadness...is slooooowly filling back up.  its going to take a lot more laughs and wine, but i think im up for the challenge.  i have no choice, because i am a survivor.

thank you everyone for helping me crawl out of this nasty darkness.  its been BAD.  but, i am grateful that i haven't had to crawl alone.  i love you, my lovely people.  i owe you the stars.

i think i am going to go about my evening, step one: shiraz!

cheers to the people of my heart~