so, I have been thinking a lot lately about making things better. Just actually doing the things that I want to.
I have been on a self-charging kick recently. Like, i don't have to just make it sound good to myself to do things alone, I actually desire to. In an honest breath, I would like companionship, but also in an honest breath, I don't need it. I am not here to sit and wait around for something to come along. I'm going to (try!) enjoy this damn life, whether people join me or not. I want to remain welcoming and friendly, but i can't wait for people to buy tickets for my dreams...after all, they are my dreams.
Im saying this in an earnest manor. not the...'i need to say this to myself so i don't feel alone and loser-ish, make myself feel better' kind. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
ok. i need to take myself out on more dates. i think im a good time. and shit, ill still prob get to 2nd base. tmi? haha.
a new year, eh? yep. well, a resolution by vague description, is a declaration to do or not do something. also, in the verb fashion, a resolution would be the solution to something problematic. What are my resolutions?:
-i think im going to stop apologizing for things that i am not actually sorry about, sorry.
-I am going to work harder at my friendships, and other peoples happiness (as well as my own).
-I would like to devour the art of meditation, i could probably start by....starting
-I think im going to take a real break from unnecessary lovers....hopefully i don't dry up and die.
-I want to indulge in the little moments that really are great. For ex: catching snow flakes on my -tongue!, cloud watching, star gazing, fresh air, truly great music...
-I want to embrace a healthier self. emotionally, physically, spiritually.
-I'd like to laugh, at least 100 laughs in each day.
-I want humility to help me admit when im wrong....which is more often than id like to admit....
-I WILL get better at loving me again.
-I want to positively envelop solitude in the moments that I can.
-oh yeah, i should get a grown-up fucking job. eh....we'll see hah.
ok kids, Cheers to another year. Let's grow together, hopefully laughing A LOT along the way.
I bid my love to those whom call me theirs. thank you all, for helping me figure this life shit out. I hope you know you are appreciated.
Love,
B
